The T-zone

"They should know that these kids only care about Halo and pussy." -Sam, on sex ed. in schools

"Shut up, are you some kind of dumbass? Never talk to me again. I hate you." -B.S.

"Maybe this is just a phase for them... and it's one of those stupid little 'I hate you' ones..." -Shaina, on just about everyone she knows

"I just realized... people are fucking stupid as hell." -Caroline

"Who cares about what kind of label a shirt has? The truth is that if you notice these kind of things you need to spend some time as a Mexican." -B.S.

"I'm the best person in the universe!" -Maddox

"Cuntrags... haha, who doesn't love those?" -Justin, in response to my assertion that people = cuntrags

"Chicks will go on anything if it has a puppy on it." -B.S.

When asked to sum up how they feel about people...

"People are way too damn stupid for their own good." -Caroline

"People in general are assholes." -Heather

Although it has been suggested and even tried before, a ban on assault weapons would not cause a significant drop in gun violence. Machine guns and assault weapons are not the same thing, and machine guns have been illegal since 1934. The 1994 assault weapons ban did not cause a drop in gun violence and was too easy to get around. Furthermore, seeing as how the penalties for murder are greater than those for possession of an illegal firearm, anyone who wants an assault weapon for an illegal purpose will not be deterred by the fact that the weapon in question is illegal.

Fully automatic weapons (machine guns) are illegal and have been since 1934. Collier’s Encyclopedia defines a machine gun as, “a military firearm capable of firing a large number of cartridges in rapid succession but with a single pull of the trigger.” By contrast, all the assault weapons outlined in the 1994 ban were semi-automatic, meaning they fire one round for each pull of the trigger. Semi-automatic weapons differ from regular hunting weapons in that they use the gases released from a fired round or the recoil of a fired round to load the next round. (Explaining the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban) An example of a machine gun would be the Kalashnikov AK-47, which, according to the book War Machines – Land, fires at 600 rounds per minute and has 30-round magazines.

The assault weapons ban passed in 1994 only addressed certain aspects of the gun. If a gun had more than two features characteristic of an assault weapon, it was illegal. Such features were a bayonet mount, pistol grip, flash suppressor (or barrel threaded for one), grenade launcher, silencer, folding stock, or large-capacity magazines. Grenade launchers and silencers are already illegal. The Colt AR-15 was legal during the ban and is legal now, firing at the same rate with the same magazine capacity. Jerry Seper, journalist for the Washington Times, writes that assault weapons only account for 2% of gun crimes annually in the United States, and that the 1994 ban did nothing to even significantly reduce this number.

Criminals who want assault weapons for illegal purposes will not be turned away simply by the fact that the weapon they want is illegal. Nobody would commit murder with a registered gun; it’s too easy to trace back to them. Assault weapons are easily purchased illegally, as plenty of examples show. An Intratec TEC-DC-9 was used in the 1999 Columbine assault according to the Columbine report, but was made illegal 5 years previously by the 1994 ban. At the Branch Davidian standoff in Waco, Texas, Branch Davidian leader David Koresh had obtained 26 complete AR-15 rifles with kits to convert them to submachine guns (Ostrander), which, although legal, did not send up a red flag with the BATF.

Illegalizing assault weapons has not been an effective move in the past and would not be in the future. The truly dangerous machine guns are already illegal and have been since 1934. The ban in 1994 didn’t reduce gun violence, so there’s no reason to believe a future one would help either. Nobody would use a legal weapon to commit a serious crime, since it can be traced back to them. Illegalizing assault weapons is nothing more than an attempt to create the illusion that we are decreasing gun violence in America.

"Explaining the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban." 11 Feb. 2005 http://www.ont.com/users/kolya/AR15/aw94.htm.

Seper, Jerry. "Ban on assault weapons didn't reduce violence." The Washington Times . 9 Feb 2005 http://washingtontimes.com/national/20040816-114754-1427r.htm

Cosgrove, Thomas E. "Machine Guns." Collier's Encyclopedia. 1990.

"How they were equipped that day." The Columbine Report. 10 Feb. 2005 http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2000/columbine.cd/Pages/EQUIPMENT_TEXT.htm.

Ransford, Simon. War Machines - Land. London: Octopus Books, Ltd., 1975.

Ostrander, Scott. "The Massacre of the Branch Davidians." Firearms and Liberty. 9 Feb. 2005 http://www.firearmsandliberty.com/waco.massacre.html.

Why do people pay $100 to advertise for the store they gave $100 to?

Are you a corporate whore? You might be. Have you ever paid more than $60 for a casual outfit? Do you wear shirts that boldly proclaim the oh-so-popular clothing chain you bought them from? Are you convinced that $80 isn't too much for a hoodie? Do you wear one of those FUCKING STUPID "Livestrong" bracelets?

If you answered "yes" to one or more of the above, congratulations! You're whoring out your body as advertising space for the retail giants known as CORPORATIONS! Pat yourself on the back, you've managed to fall for the biggest scam ever. You should be proud. Not everyone can get hoodwinked that way.

I saw a hoodie today from Abercrombie that cost $80. It's an ordinary blue hoodie, but it says "ABERCROMBIE" on it in huge letters. Anyone who buys it has shelled out $80 to become a human billboard. It's brilliant: clothing chains don't have to advertise; they just make you pay outrageously large sums to advertise FOR them! Companies have their logos, slogans, etc. plastered all over the merchandise they sell. It saves them MILLIONS of dollars on advertising. Not to mention they have the balls to charge $80 FOR A FUCKING SWEATSHIRT!

I hate chains that have the nerve to sell a pair of pants for over $100, but at the same time, I am awed at the fact that they have a neverending source of advertising at their fingertips: their customers. If I was going to pay that much for clothes I'd expect them to be superior to any cheaper clothes I could get, but no. They're not. The only thing that sets them apart is the fact that they have the name of wherever you bought it from printed on it in the biggest, in-your-face, whorish letters possible.

Fucking brilliant. Make people pay to advertise for you. Never have to waste billions on a commercial again, AND you can make a bunch of 13-year-olds think they're cool for spending hundreds on your shit!

I hate multibillion dollar international clothing chains.

Kindergarten was the single most mentally scarring period of my life. I was terribly oppressed then. I didn't realize it at the time, but the public schooling system was already trying to hold me down; trying to stomp all the curiosity and love of intellectual thrill out of me.

I was in the afternoon class. Kindergarten is only a half-day at the elementary school I went to. I had one friend, and only one. He was born with only a thumb on his right hand, so everyone made fun of him for that. He was an outcast, thus, and the only other person I knew who was like me. He was in the morning class. He hated it as much as I did. We sent e-mails back and forth, played Nintendo together, and talked about explosions. We were geeks... as geeky as they come.

In kindergarten, I was THE class nerd. I was always excluded. I was made fun of on a daily basis. Those were the least of my troubles.

My curiosity constantly got me into trouble. I would be castigated for asking questions. I wasn't allowed to read during recess. They didn't expect 5-year-olds to be able to read. I had to go outside and get made fun of because I didn't like tetherball. I sat in the corner most days at recess. That was horrible. I quickly became antisocial, but since I hadn't been trained in the art of swearing, all I could do was say, "Shut up, you butthead," and hope nobody would tattle on me for saying "butt."

One day, we were reading a story about an alligator in the attic. I raised my hand and asked how an alligator got in the attic and what it was doing up there. The teacher told me to go sit in the corner because I was bad. The next day, I got in trouble for kneeling instead of sitting Indian-style during storytime. Everyone got wide-eyed when they saw me and pointed and whispered. I was a rebel because of my decision to fight the system and not sit Indian-style. I was a bad boy, all of a sudden. I probably did all sorts of other bad things, like robbing banks or cheating at "cops and robbers." I hated "cops and robbers." All the "cool" kids played it at recess. "Bang! You're dead! I got you!"

One day the teacher put 10 on the chalkboard and asked us what number it is. I had just learned binary (I called it "base 2") the other day and raised my hand. "Two," I said. Everybody giggled. The teacher thought I was trying to be funny and made me sit in the corner again. I tried to explain, but I still had to sit in the corner.

I would come home crying almost every day. I wasn't allowed to think. I was always getting in trouble, for not coloring inside the lines, or not simply accepting what was taught to me without questioning its truth value. I was terribly oppressed.

I realized that I was different from the other kids, but I couldn't understand how. I didn't understand why they made fun of me... all I wanted was to be like them. I just wanted to be ACCEPTED, accepted for who I was. That was too much, apparently. Thank God I'm not like them and never was. I didn't realize that I was surrounded by idiots. I thought that everybody thought like I did... I thought they would all understand the things I said and thought. I didn't quite understand why they all hated me.

I wasn't in that horrible place for more than a few weeks. Thankfully my parents realized how awful it was and pulled me out. I was homeschooled until this year.

The public education system CONTINUES to oppress students. I'm a witness to this every day, but those years of being an antisocial bastard without the conditioning present in public school has helped me to realize WHEN this is happening and what I can DO about it. Don't let them fool you. They don't really care--No Child Left Behind is a joke. We're leaving children behind on a daily basis. Thousands fall below the competence line every year, and our schools are doing nothing to help this figure.

Kindergarten sucks.

Haha.

It sucks. It fucking SUCKS. We have a principal and an assistant principal, because I guess a bunch of kids running around is too much for the incompetent principal to handle. The assistant principal doesn't give a fuck. He just does his job and gets paid. Recently, he bought a new SUV. Our school, by contrast, has nothing but new carpets. The keyboards in the music room are all broken. The band's instruments are all out of tune. Our textbooks are hopelessly outdated. The science textbooks only have 103 elements on the periodic table. I hate the textbooks.

But our gym teacher drives his yellow Mustang to work every single day. We can't get much funding right now because we need to fund No Child Left Behind.

In kindergarten I was really curious. I asked a lot of questions. Almost all the time, I'd get in trouble for it. Once we were reading a story about an alligator in the attic. I asked why there was an alligator in the attic. I had to sit in the corner. I wasn't allowed to read on my own. I got made fun of a lot. I hated kindergarten.

I was homeschooled from that point on up until this year.

My school is Satan incarnated as school. Our principal cares, but he gives motivational speeches that absolutely SUCK, and to make matters worse, he looks like a fucking Polish sausage. His nose is so huge. He talks funny. His speeches make me giggle. But they're pathetic at the same time. He only gives motivational speeches when it has a chance to boost our standardized test scores and give him more money. I hate him.

My keyboarding teacher sucks. He's too organized. He's creepy. He doesn't know shit about how to take care of computers either. The "proper diskette care" instructions he has are still for 5-1/4" disks. He's an idiot. BASIC is considered to be the pinnacle of technology in his class. He yelled at people who told him they liked his pink shirt. Why does he wear it if he hates people telling him they like it? Pink is for dumbasses who think it's cool because MTV said it was.

The only good teacher in my school is the tech. ed. teacher. BUT THEY HAD TO TAKE OUT HALF THE SHOP TO PUT IN THE KEYBOARDING ROOM. Now we just have wood. We used to have metal, plastic, whole nine yards. Now it's just wood and the ancient Compaq DeskPro's in the computer module room. They couldn't even buy new video cards, so when I was studying VR in tech. ed., the shutter glasses didn't work. But our assistant principal can still buy a shiny new SUV. I hate him.

My art teacher was a weirdo. My other art teacher was obsessive-compulsive. My math teacher is too crabby. My social studies teacher likes snow too much. My music teacher is psychotic. My science teacher is sarcastic. My health teacher tells too many personal stories about her goddamn volleyball team in class.

I hate people who play sports. Lacrosse is trendy. Everyone thinks they're cool because they play lacrosse. They think they're funny because they say "I'm Rick James, bitch" and "Gosh! Friggin... IDIOT!" at every chance they get. I hate them.

My ACT teacher is cool. ACT is for the "gifted" kids. It's cool, because we just sit around and talk about politics all period. But the teacher gets mad at us because we talk too much. I don't know where she would get a crazy idea like that.

Our school has a power outage every other week. Study hall sucks; the teachers always yell at everyone. We have a substitute for science who doesn't know what a nuclide is, or how to properly explain the difference between alpha, beta, and gamma radiation. I asked her about thermonuclear fusion. She told me to be quiet.

I always get yelled at for being curious. I think I'm being oppressed.

I hate my school, I hate my teachers, I hate the students, I hate the sports, I hate the dances, I hate the administration, I hate the building, I hate the rules, I hate the dress code, I hate the censorship. I hate the whole goddamn system.

I probably hate you too.

Dumbass: The Trailer

Yes, that's right, it's coming: T-zone and Friends DO STUPID SHIT IN FRONT OF A CAMERA!

Dumbass is expected to be in excess of 20 minutes upon full completion and includes, but is not limited to:
Dumbasses falling into Dumpsters
Kung-fu fights in the middle of the street
Small children getting hit by dumbasses in sleds
Dumbasses landing face-first in the snow
Dumbasses hitting other dumbasses with sticks
Dumbasses having sack races with recycling bins
Extremely large fires
Hot chicks! With boobs!
More extremely large fires
Dumbasses getting hit in the face with a camera
Did we mention hot chicks with big boobs?
With a SPECIAL BONUS FEATURE: Sexyman30XXX snorts KOOL-AID, and T-zone making a guest appearance as THE GOD OF MARIJUANA.

Keep your eyes peeled.

I'm sick of all the Irish lore and culture surrounding St. Patrick's Day.

I'm 1/16th Irish. That's about 6.25%. I decided to make a shirt that said, "kiss me, I'm 1/16th Irish."

I also happen to be about 1/5th Welsh. That's 20%. Woah. Yeah that's a lot. It shows too, I get really pissed off about things. WALES REPRESENT, BITCHES.

But here's some trivia for you: did you know St. Patrick was originally Welsh? Yes indeed. His name wasn't even Patrick, it was Sucat. He was captured by an Irish slave trader and brought back to Ireland to be, yep, that's right--a slave. He was rescued and went home to Wales but went back to Ireland years later to preach the word of God to the Irish people, who were being controlled by the Druids' religion.

Legend also has it that he drove all the snakes out of Ireland, but I don't think that really happened.

At any rate, the only thing that St. Patrick's Day has now that's correct is the shamrock. Sucat used a 3-leaf clover to illustrate the idea of the Trinity. The whole Irish thing is totally wrong. We should be celebrating Welsh culture on St. Patrick's Day. It should be an excuse for everyone to drink something Welsh, whatever it is they drink there. My dad is a lot more Welsh than I am. He likes eggnog. I don't think that's very Welsh, but what the fuck ever, I don't feel much like nitpicking at the moment. I'm rather fond of cognac in my coffee, but that's French. Also, dry gin is good in Mountain Dew.

The only Irish aspect of St. Patrick's Day that I like is the Irish Creme. I like it in my coffee. Sometimes. Not all the time. But sometimes.

The non-alcoholic kind is good in coffee all the time. The flavored coffee syrup is good too. I drink it straight out of the bottle sometimes. Then I have a sugar crash (I have moderate hypoglycemia) and end up sleeping for about 13 hours. Some people have a hangover the day after St. Patrick's Day. I have a sugar hangover. It sucks.

Anyway, I want a "Kiss Me, I'm Welsh" shirt/pin/hat/whatever. Anyone who buys me one will be much appreciated.

I need a T-shirt press, too. That'd be fucking cool.

To sum up, St. Patrick was originally named Sucat, he was from Wales, and St. Patrick's Day revolving around Ireland (who are the VILLAINS in this story) is a gross mistake. Tell your friends.

Anyone who says they support communism and then goes to spend $50 on an overpriced hammer-and-sickle shirt from Hot Topic is lying. Way to support communism... by putting money into the hands of the corporations that totally oppose the Marxist ideals! Same goes for you losers who say you love anarchy and buy shirts with the "anarchy symbol" on them. There's nothing cool about anarchy. In an actual anarchy, I'd walk up to you and kick your pansy ass for doing something as lame as spending money on an anarchy shirt.

Newsflash, cockbags:
LENIN HATES EMO.

Also, I hate people who are depressed/suicidal/cut themselves just for the attention it brings. Anyone who says something like "I wear long sleeves to cover my scars," is an attention whore. If you wear long sleeves to cover your scars, what the fuck is the point in telling people about it, dumbass?

People who are depressed for attention. You know the type. They don't say goodbye, they quote song lyrics at you. Maybe they're actually depressed, maybe they just think they are because they've been pretending for so long. Either way, stop wasting my time by writing "dark" poetry everywhere you go. It's getting on my nerves. Your poems suck, by the way.

People who are suicidal for attention. They talk about killing themselves all the time but never actually do it. I don't condone suicide--I think it's selfish and basically just another way of giving up--but goddamn! If you're going to kill yourself, fucking DO IT! Don't run around telling everyone about it with "ominous" lines like, "five pill, six pill, seven pill, floor."

Stop wasting my time trying to make me feel sorry for you. I hate you. If you're actually suicidal, depressed, injuring yourself, or whatever, get help. If you're not, stop pretending you are, please. Not only is it offensive to those who seriously do have problems, IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU LOOK COOL, PUNK, EMO, OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER TREND IT IS YOU'RE TRYING TO BUY INTO.

If you seriously do have a problem, I do not blame you in the slightest. There are plenty of resources available to you. Don't let these fuckjobs get you down. I hate them just as much as you do. As much as I hate "straight-edge" or whatever the fuck it is, it's a hell of a lot "cooler" than this shit.

If you have ever told anyone that you're depressed, suicidal, a cutter, or have some mental issue just for attention, you're officially an ATTENTION WHORE! Congratulations, you've managed to sink low enough that your constant self-delusion has become a serious problem and probably evolved into pathological lying! If you weren't such a dick, I'd feel sorry for you.

Chances are if you're reading this and you think it describes you... it probably does. Chances are you're also offended. Of course, chances are I do not give a flying fuck. You express yourself through your shitty poetry, I express myself through telling you how much I hate you.

Fuck off.

Wow of course lets make this public because it looks cool to flame people back and forth, I mean comeon cant you take critcism? Fucking baby

OK, here's where the tortured logic begins. See if you can spot it. Can you see one statement here that has truth value at all? No? Me neither.

Im not all "DDR is a religion" just saying that post was a lame way to share why you hate it, and every other post you make. Dont get me wrong you have some good ideas, but you present them as if your an enraged fucktard rather then being cynically angry.

Yeah, here it is again. Let me show you.

A good argument consists of statements. A statement is anything that holds truth value. "You present them as if your [sic] an enraged fucktard" is a value judgement. It holds no truth value.

By "truth value" I do not mean that it's true. "I am a pink elephant" holds truth value: it's not true. Truth value can be either 0 or 1. A statement can be either true or false.

Stop trying to tell me I don't present my ideas correctly when you have no concept of how to properly structure an argument.

I dont know why your such a bad debator all you do is use sterotypes, My friend Denbez plays DDR he's a tottally idepedent person I dont think you could classify him in anything and me also.

Good, now we see some actual logic START to form. A possible example in Denbez. That's a counter-example, good job, you might not be a dumbass after all.

Of course, the next paragraph destroyed that idea:

Your writing disturbs me thats all. its just so fun to see someone who thinks he's smart and tough talk nothing but swear words and empty threats/ignorance. I have friends ones that are fun to be around and arent people who dont know what there talking about

I'm sorry, were you perhaps offended by something I wrote? In that case did you consider leaving instead of whining about it? In your words, "fucking baby."

Yeah keep thinkin that skippy cause'.. your not original at all. All the stuff I see is a really stupid fuckwit who thinks if he can spew rhetorical he can sound smart and impress others. Oh its entertaining to me to mainly because i wouldnt have commented if I didnt want you to make an idiot out of yourself.

I made an idiot out of myself, did I? Well now, it doesn't look like you accomplished anything with your last argument, and it doesn't look like you've accomplished anything with this one either, unless you've got some trump card up your sleeve further down the post, which I doubt, since you have shown absolutely no skill in areas pertaining to logic and reasoning thus far...

Haha arrogant to. Learn to be humble,it'll help you later your to young to realize now but later you will. And wow you even label yourself.. most pathethic thing ever.

Funny how you tell me I'm too young. How old are you again? 13? Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm older than you and I probably realize a good bit more than you do.

As far as labelling goes, no, have I ever labelled myself? Not aside from that short paragraph. I don't consider myself to be any one social label, but I don't care what label someone decides to give me, because it's the douchebags like you who try to fit labels instead of vice versa that make labels a popular thing. In fact, I think that's a good label for you from now on. If anyone asks, you fit right in under the "douchebag" category.

Haha I listen to the most ANTI DDR SHIT KNOWN TO MAN

Somewhere, there's someone who gives a fuck about what you listen to.

How immature is that.. sheesh learn to be a more respectful geek if you shall label yourself that. Im not offended your just a fucking idiot that thinks his opnions are relativly intelligant and I feel sad for anyone who thinks it is.

Oh, well at least I only think my "opnions" are "relativly intelligant." I would hate to think my opinions were relatively intelligent, since we all know that I'm a "fucking idiot."

Man, in the same paragraph as you told me to be respectful, too! Have you any concept of irony?

The next "argument" you give me, I would like to be composed of statements rather than value judgements. If someone can point out one single sentence, hell, even one single CLAUSE in his entire post that carries truth value, I will give you a cookie.