-I really hate this stupid meme of llamas, muffins, and whatever the hell that has come up recently. "I like pie" used to be the catch-phrase bandied about by idiots that wanted to say something but didn't have anything to say. It wore itself out in a few months. It has been replaced by nonsensical statements about things that are quite ordinary in and of themselves but, taken out of context, are hilarious to the unintelligent mind. For instance, it is common practice these days for some dumb bitch to turn to her girlfriend and say in a slow, retarded voice, "I'm a llama," and then make some stupid facial expression, and then both of them laugh about it and have a ten-minute conversation about who is actually the llama.
IT'S NOT FUNNY.
YOU ARE NOT CUTE.
Oh, and you're not "random" either. Nothing is truly "random". If you spent fifteen minutes trying to come up with a phrase that seemed "random" enough to put as your Myspace quote (which inevitably has something to do with llamas or muffins), yup, you're a douchebag! Seriously, I hate that.
-Also, THIS IS TO ALL THE YOUNG WOMEN OF THE UNITED STATES (where I happily reside, if my American English didn't give it away): QUIT BITCHIN' ABOUT YOURSELVES! You are never happy with your weight, which has created an unhealthy trend of girls with hipbones instead of hips and collarbones above their collars. Bony != healthy, even if culture dictates that it is. When you are overweight, your BMI will fall into the "unhealthy" range. For a lot of you, the "healthy" range is where you would start calling yourselves "fat". Do you realize that in many other cultures, NOT having bones sticking out everywhere is considered attractive and a sign of good health (mentally AND physically)? Personally, I think y'all are disgusting, and the etch marks on your teeth from constantly throwing up your lunch is disgusting, and you have bad breath from all that goddamn bulimia, BY THE WAY.
Seriously, if you are going to throw up your lunch, why don't you just give it to a poor person with no food... and if you are simply not going to eat, don't ever call me. When I take a girl out to dinner I am taking her out to dinner. Eat, dammit, eat! I promise you won't get fat!
Drinking "diet" sodas impairs your ability to metabolise fats (oh God I just spelled a word the European way) and those artificial sweeteners are doing you more harm than good. If you constantly eat enough food (you know, the ADA's 2,000-calorie recommendation is NOT going to kill you, and anyway, who the HELL only eats 2,000 calories every day), your metabolism will adjust and you won't gain weight. I promise.
Also, y'all are never happy with your complexion, which leads to more shades of makeup than there are colors visible to the human eye (seriously, that's stupid) and nasty stuff flaking off some chick's face every time she gets up close to you. GROSS. Leave your foundation and all that bullshit at home. It is good to have healthy skin. Make-up is not good for your skin, by the way, so you might as well just forget about exfoliating if you are going to cake unnatural bullshit all over your mug as soon as you're done scrubbing your pores; it will save you a lot of time.
Y'all are never happy with anything about yourselves, so you change your hair every two weeks, wear enough makeup to look yourselves look dead (that's disgusting; I'm sure you have a very beautiful face so don't hide it away), and come up with the dumbest fashion trends ever (is it just me, or is every fashionable woman suddenly wearing what looks like maternity clothing?!) to bury your insecurities.
Here's a tip: men are not into fake stuff.
Don't be a Fake Person. Your personality should not be like my bedroom floor - hidden under mountains of clothes and personal artifacts.
-Furthermore, Susan, as far as I'm concerned, the sooner Ron Paul gets elected, the better.
-Fat J
IT'S NOT FUNNY.
YOU ARE NOT CUTE.
Oh, and you're not "random" either. Nothing is truly "random". If you spent fifteen minutes trying to come up with a phrase that seemed "random" enough to put as your Myspace quote (which inevitably has something to do with llamas or muffins), yup, you're a douchebag! Seriously, I hate that.
-Also, THIS IS TO ALL THE YOUNG WOMEN OF THE UNITED STATES (where I happily reside, if my American English didn't give it away): QUIT BITCHIN' ABOUT YOURSELVES! You are never happy with your weight, which has created an unhealthy trend of girls with hipbones instead of hips and collarbones above their collars. Bony != healthy, even if culture dictates that it is. When you are overweight, your BMI will fall into the "unhealthy" range. For a lot of you, the "healthy" range is where you would start calling yourselves "fat". Do you realize that in many other cultures, NOT having bones sticking out everywhere is considered attractive and a sign of good health (mentally AND physically)? Personally, I think y'all are disgusting, and the etch marks on your teeth from constantly throwing up your lunch is disgusting, and you have bad breath from all that goddamn bulimia, BY THE WAY.
Seriously, if you are going to throw up your lunch, why don't you just give it to a poor person with no food... and if you are simply not going to eat, don't ever call me. When I take a girl out to dinner I am taking her out to dinner. Eat, dammit, eat! I promise you won't get fat!
Drinking "diet" sodas impairs your ability to metabolise fats (oh God I just spelled a word the European way) and those artificial sweeteners are doing you more harm than good. If you constantly eat enough food (you know, the ADA's 2,000-calorie recommendation is NOT going to kill you, and anyway, who the HELL only eats 2,000 calories every day), your metabolism will adjust and you won't gain weight. I promise.
Also, y'all are never happy with your complexion, which leads to more shades of makeup than there are colors visible to the human eye (seriously, that's stupid) and nasty stuff flaking off some chick's face every time she gets up close to you. GROSS. Leave your foundation and all that bullshit at home. It is good to have healthy skin. Make-up is not good for your skin, by the way, so you might as well just forget about exfoliating if you are going to cake unnatural bullshit all over your mug as soon as you're done scrubbing your pores; it will save you a lot of time.
Y'all are never happy with anything about yourselves, so you change your hair every two weeks, wear enough makeup to look yourselves look dead (that's disgusting; I'm sure you have a very beautiful face so don't hide it away), and come up with the dumbest fashion trends ever (is it just me, or is every fashionable woman suddenly wearing what looks like maternity clothing?!) to bury your insecurities.
Here's a tip: men are not into fake stuff.
Don't be a Fake Person. Your personality should not be like my bedroom floor - hidden under mountains of clothes and personal artifacts.
-Furthermore, Susan, as far as I'm concerned, the sooner Ron Paul gets elected, the better.
-Fat J
posted by Jason at
4:43 PM
1 Comments:
...We're not ALL like that. Some of us grow out of it when we pass 16.
We stop wearing make-up. We don't think we're fat. In fact, we're rather conceited about the fact that we're actually cute. We travel the land in pajamas with bed head and guy's t-shirts.
Maybe that's just me though. Girls DO bitch too much about themselves. But my question is what provoked the outburst?
~Sarah :)~
By
Sarah, at 4:36 AM
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