One thing that DOES piss me off is that I can't even say two words to my dad without him seriously thinking that I have some ulterior motive and I'm trying to be rude or provocative. Like just today I seriously said good morning to him and he did this thing where he stalks off and sulks because you've offended him.

WTF!!! I was trying to be friendly, man! Seriously, why does anyone NEED to be so paranoid?

Everything lately seems to come down to a crossroads. Before, it was a balance between to opposing forces. Now, it's an ultimatum of two opposing forces. Like I'm being ripped in half.

I don't know what to do with myself.

Let's go down in the river to pray.

This is what I want to be, and this is what I give to you because I get it free.

Oh, this life I choose.

There are so many things running through my soul, it would take years to express all of them.

Something has changed. Something very fundamental about me has changed for the better. I don't quite know what it is. I mean, I know what it is, but I couldn't explain it if I tried.

I first noticed it when I was finally motivated to do all the things I've been putting off. So, right now, I'm in the middle of, like, ALL OF THEM. I don't feel stressed like I usually do when I take on tons of projects at once, either. I feel like I'm liquid on top of everything, like I've got all my ducks in a row and I'm really, really in the groove. Like I have finally, FINALLY, learned how to control my scattered train of thought and use it to my advantage.

For the first time ever, I am truly motivated to be the best person I possibly can be in every single aspect of life, no matter how small, and I'm finally not just SAYING something but DOING it. I feel TRULY at peace with who I am and what I'm doing and what I'm supposed to be doing and when I should be doing it to get it done on time. My life is still hectic, but now I feel like I'm not caught up in the hoopla - I'm removed from the hustle and bustle so that I can steer myself a hell of a lot better.

Some missing piece in my soul has been filled and now that it's all complete, I make sense. I make a whole lot of sense. Everything is just so much better; this is the way that I was supposed to be ALL ALONG. This is the life I was born to live one day.

The phrase "you complete me" is thrown about a lot, but sometimes used when the other person doesn't complete you at all, but in fact makes you do things like neglect all your responsibilities and obligations because, well, for one reason or another. I never DID understand why people said that to people who made them so obviously miserable and inefficient so much of the time.

Well, I only know one thing: something about this wonderful girl - something that she says to me without even saying anything, and I know it because we both smile that exact same smile at the exact same time - it makes me want to climb a mountain because I know that it is good for me and I know that I can.

It feels good when you find out how you fit into the duality of being a human.

Seriously guys, I would have to give my weekend 897 stars out of five.


She's got so much soul!

AHHH

OMG OMG OMG OMG

OMG

:-D

(they don't make big enough versions of that face!!!!)
I just can't even believe anything. :-)

What I mean to say is, I would like to share all this abundant joy with someone. But I don't want to go there again.

What time is it, anyway? I've never been so disoriented.